Back in Black

 So, as I told many of you, it seems I can no longer get on my blog and Ravelry during work hours so I have been dreadfully remiss in writing.  Since I last posted, I finished and mailed Hadley’s Baby Surprise Jacket and hat:

I have word that they have arrived in Portland and will be opened tomorrow, so hopefully I will have pics of Miss H. in them. 

I’m currently in 2 awesome swaps: The Knitters’ Coffeeswap with my very cool partner Rhonda (welcome Rhonda!) and The Loopy Ewe swap which is a big ol’ secret! So, in addition to trying to finally finish my Monkey Socks, I need to get movin’ on my Loopy Swap present which is all planned out and I have yarn for it.  I have about a million projects I’m thinking about so I really need some FOCUS.  Very difficult for me. 

I’m not Joe’s favorite person this week so I have to head home and prepare to grovel on the phone.  Til after 5 tomorrow kids!

Knitters’ Coffee Swap Questions

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

1. Whole bean or ground? Whole bean is great - I’ve got a grinder - but if there’s something cool pre-ground I’m game!

2. Fully-loaded or decaf? High octane all the way!

3. Regular or flavored? Either

4. How do you drink your coffee? Light and sweet - like me.  I go full-fat on the dairy whether it’s cream or milk - the only way to go.

5. Favorite coffee ever? Real Kona coffee but I also really love Pumpkin Spice.

6. Are you fussy about your coffee or will any old bean do? There is a time and place for Chock Full o’ Nuts…I just haven’t found that time and place yet.

7. Favorite treats to have with your coffee? Snickerdoodles… I love Snickerdoodles…or peanut butter cookies….or oatmeal cookies….or a good scone… I’m obviously not picky.

8. Anything else about your coffee preferences? I prefer…a lot of it.

9. Yarn/fiber you love? I’m a sock yarn girl all the way.

10. Yarn/fiber you hate? Ummm…100% acrylic?11. What’s on your needles? A Baby Surprise Jacket made out of Cherry Tree Hill Supersock, my 2^nd Monkey Sock and just last night a baby hat (to coordinate with the Baby Surprise) came off the needles.

12. Favorite colors? Can’t think of one I don’t like.  At the moment I’m loving autumn colors and good, deep greens.   

13. Allergies? Nope!

14. Anything you really love, really don’t like, or just need to get off your chest? Other than about a million pounds of boobage? I love my tiara, cocktails, all things handmade, socks, my wonderful boyfriend (oops, shoulda put him up front - sorry Joe!) and yarn…lots of yarn…and coffee…mmmmm… yarn and coffee *drool*

Mama’s Got a Brand New Bag!

Ok, so I obviously didn’t come through on my promise to write a good post on Monday but this horrible thing they call work has prevented me from devoting my attention to the blog and, more importantly, to you my darling love bunny readers.  There are more of you these days which is really lovely and I’m amazed that you have the patience to read all this crap — I’m fairly sure that the 6 friends I sent the link to have long ago stopped tuning in (except Jo Ellen and Christine who are obviously making a bid for sainthood).  Anyway, thanks for reading… I’ll do my best to entertain… perhaps if I got out of the house a bit more… unlikely.

As I reported last post, I was crocheting the fugly lapkin.  As promised, it was finished by the end of the weekend.  I have determined that it is way too fugly to foist upon anyone… even my beloved Joe.  It appears to be curling in in an odd way — I think if I put a large button on it it would qualify as a capelet…albeit a fugly one.  For the moment it remains at Chez Gittlemeyer (my apartment, christened thus by Dina with the mashup of Joe’s last name - Meyer - and mine - Gittleman - I need a sign to hang on the door to that effect).

The Monkey Socks, that were progressing so nicely experienced some stalling, due not only to the repurposing of the Fugly Poncho, but also to the fact that I appeared, once again, to be knitting into the black hole.  I’m pleased to report that I have found my way out and am about to close the toe on the first sock.  I plan to do so tonight and cast on sock number 2.  I love these socks so much that I’ve been able to resist the yarny call of my new stash acquisitions and new patterns.  It hasn’t even been that difficult.  Although I am in love with them, I am still considering gifting them to Joe’s mom…however, each time I drop a stitch because I’m tired and not paying attention and pick it up somewhat sloppily my inner perfectionist feels that the socks are no longer good enough to give away.  We’ll see what happens.  I also must note that I was afraid I was short on yardage for these socks and ordered another skein only to discover upon its arrival that 1 skein per sock was just fine and I now have extra…sooo, the question is: shall I return? shall I exchange?  What’s a girl to do?

Speaking of stash acquisition, I was a very bad girl!

This skein of Alpaca Sox jumped into my arms at Stix-n-Stitches on Sheila’s command…which sounded an awful lot like “Lisa, have you seen the Alpaca Sox?”

 You can’t see the colors because my camera phone sucks (promise I’ll borrow my parents’ digital camera and take better pics of my stash which will naturally be on Ravelry) but it’s just gorgeous - light blue, pink, gray, tan and just so soft!!!  If I don’t give Joe’s mom the Monkeys you can bet she’ll be getting Alpaca Sox which I’m sure will make her propose to me on her son’s behalf… don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll call him and tell him about it shortly thereafter…he does need to be informed of these things.  He’ll be fine with it…roight!

2 skeins of Lorna’s Laces Shepard Sock in Purple Iris and 2 skeins of Interlacements Tiny Toes in Fireplace Embers…all from The Loopy Ewe.  I take it all out and fondle it frequently…can’t wait to knit it up!  Of course, as I mentioned earlier, I didn’t stop at yarn… I had to buy miscellaneous goodies as well…what happiness!

The following represents a combination of orders from The Loopy Ewe and Knit Picks as well as a POS purchase at Stix -n- Stitches. 

Pictured are jeweled stitch markers from Stix -n- Stitches, the Soak sample package from The Loopy Ewe and Harmony DPNs, nickle plated DPNs and a Chibi from Knit Picks.  I am so happy I can barely control myself.  I was coveting the Harmony Options set from Knit Picks but it wasn’t in the budget at the moment….that’s headed straight for the Xmas list!

 My other item of knitting p0rn is really my favorite….

A beauteous new knitting bag made for me by the fabulous Jo Ellen! I actually have to take a better pic because this one doesn’t do it justice.  It’s an incredible crazy quilt messenger bag with inside pockets made to hold knitting needles, crochet hooks, pencils and the like… I am so in love with it!!!  Jo Ellen is a lifelong quilter and does amazing work.  Her full sized quilts boggle my mind completely.  She’s happy to take commissioned work and, I believe has some finished quilts she’d be willing to sell.  If you’d like to get in touch with her, drop me a line or leave a comment.  If my Stix-n-Stitches ladies are reading, she will be accompanying me to SnB tomorrow night and you can see the bag in person.

In addition to all the previously mentioned knitting goodness, I’ve also joined the Art Walk Sock Yarn Club, The Loopy Ewe Swap and The Knitters’ Coffee Swap 3.  This should keeping me swimming in Yarn P0rn for months to come… JOY! I was trying to wait for Christmas for a swift and ball winder but I have the distinct feeling that I’ll be purchasing this weekend…hey, with all the yarn coming my way it’s the right thing to do!

Speaking of Christmas, I’m working very hard on my list for the Santa Clauses in my life.  Generally I am terrible at telling people what I want but I’m learning that it’s necessary.  Ladies, Mr. Meyer needs to know… one of you needs to take him in hand and explain that I need a girl present. Sock yarn fits nicely in a stocking…as do needles, bottles of soak, stitch markers and basically anything under “Accessories” on most knitting sites but the main event needs to be a girl present. If it’s sparkly, even better.

To close, Hadley chatting with me on the phone….

The Sad Tale of the Fugly Poncho

Note: This was written on Friday but somehow ended up in drafts instead of being published. 

This time last year Joe and I were not speaking.  It was a very sad time and I was trying to make myself scarce but I was sick of sitting home alone all the time.  One day I was sitting at work and it occurred to me that going to a Stitch and Bitch was a banner idea.  I was online desperate to find one and on the verge of tears when I saw that my LYS had one on Thursday nights.  I bolted to AC Moore after work, because the LYS is not open after 5, insistent on finding something to knit that minute. Semi-hysterical and obviously not thinking clearly I grabbed a pattern for a poncho and some hideous chunky Lion Brand yarn.

I started knitting the poncho that night and it got uglier and uglier as I worked on it.  I went to the Stitch and Bitch with this disaster in tow, met some lovely women, told them about my horrific break up and had a really great time.  It really helped me get through this dark period.

When Joe and I reconciled I abandoned the fugly poncho in the UFO basket and never thought about it again… til last night.  After a long absence I returned to the SnB and had an absolute blast!!  I met great people, spent a couple hours knitting and came home very happy.  So happy, in fact, that I pulled the fugly poncho out and, for a reason that still elludes me, frogged the whole thing and immediately started crocheting it into a blanket.  The result?

It’s heavy and still pretty fugly but it will be a blanket by the end of the weekend for sure.  I think I’m going to give it to Joe and cast off (no pun intended) all of the bad karma of the fugly poncho.

I have tons o’ new pics and much to tell but it’s Friday and 5pm so I’m heading out.  I promise I’ll write a good post on Monday.

SQUEEEEEEE!!!

The day has finally arrived: I’m in Ravelry!! The best part is it’s not like when you finally get in the kilt of the guy you’ve been fantasizing about for eons and it turns out that counting ceiling tiles is a great deal more exciting….noooooo, it’s like yarn sex on your PC. I’m so ridiculously angry that they want me to do work at this damn place instead of entering my stash on Ravelry! Jeez, just cause they pay me doesn’t make them the boss of me - the nerve! Anyway, I’m Anita Cocktail on Ravelry and despite admonitions I’ve been online pretty much all day.  Heh!

I don’t have much in the way of time this second - have much work to do and few minutes to do it - but I must update on the projectoids.  The Monkey Socks, my friends, are cruising!  Check this out…a complete leg!!!

I am so loving these puppies… I mean, Monkeys and they’re just knitting up incredibly quickly.  Cookie A. is a total genius and one of the things that I love, love, love is that she has the lace pattern both written out and charted.  I swore many moons ago I would never knit anything that required a chart, which really just amounts to a phobia, and thanks to Miss Cookie I have finally overcome it and have been happily knitting from her chart.  The pattern is perfection and I am stoked beyond belief.

My weekend ended up being amazing despite a rocky start.  I joined Herr Meyer in Connecticut which provided a ton of knitting time, a haven from the crack whore and plenty of quality time with Joe.   One of the highlights of the weekend was Sunday morning. Joe got out of bed early and I just snuggled under the covers listening to what he was doing (smoking, reading, putting away dishes, showering) feeling slightly groggy.  I heard the shower turn off and the sound of his footsteps heading for the dresser in the bedroom.  As he entered, I surreptitiously opened one eye… I have to interject here that it really shows how fantastic and healthy our relationship is that after 2 years I still peek when he’s naked in the vicinity…and checked out his cute bum as he went dresser diving.  I quickly feigned sleep and moments later I heard “Hi honey…do you want coffee?” Thinking only of the instant stowed in his cabinet for emergencies I unenthusiastically assented. And then I heard the magic words, “What do you want from Starbucks?” 

I shot straight up in bed, looked at him and spouted, “Did you just say Starbucks to me??”  He hates Starbucks on principle but to me - coffee sex in my mouth.  He not only said I could have whatever I wanted but that I should also stay in bed. I couldn’t say pumpkinspicelatte fast enough.  He not only got me my PSL and The New York Times but then made an AMAZING breakfast.  How in God’s name did I get so lucky?  I did ply him with “Spanky Chicken” and matzoh ball soup but this was just beyond the pale… I cannot adequately express my love for him at this moment.  He’s the best (to quote the email I got from Miss Violet today — double SQUEEEEE!) “boyfriend-type-unit” ever.  More tomorrow kiddies…great pate but I gotta motor.

…And The Heat Goes On…

Day 10 - The heat is still on. I’m beginning to wonder whether this will ever end.  I’ve called the plumber more times than I care to mention, ditto on the condo association. I made dinner for my beloved boyfriend last night and almost got heat stroke.  My patience is being severely tested. I have tried to stay calm and not yell at anyone but this is absolutely insane!!!! The heat is on full blast! I can’t sleep, my electric bill is going to be ridiculous from running every fan and both air conditioners 24-7, all my bread and fruit is going bad from the heat and no one has the courtesy to call me back!!!  I just want to know when it will be fixed. 

What I really cannot comprehend is why nobody seems to know when the parts will arrive…seems simple to me…. 1) Has the part actually been shipped? 2) Assuming the answer to #1 is yes, carriers (UPS, USPS, DHL, FedEx) give you a tracking number so you should be able to track the shipment.  THERE SHOULD BE NO QUESTION ABOUT WHEN THE PARTS WILL ARRIVE!!  Obviously I’m about to lose my ever loving mind.  It is 4:25pm on Friday as I write this.  It seems fairly unlikely to me that anything will be accomplished until next week at this point.  I’m livid.

To make myself feel better I placed three orders online today - from The Loopy Ewe, KnitPicks and The Craftster Spreadshirt Shop.  From lovely Sheri at The Loopy Ewe I ordered Lorna’s Laces Shepard Sock in Purple Iris, Interlacements in Fireplace Embers and the Soak wash sample kit.  From KnitPicks I ordered DPN’s — one set of nickle, one of the new, gorgeous Harmony birch — as Lime & Violet noted that they were very pointy and fast for socks, and finally from The Crafster shirt shop I got a little custom t-shirt with the skull and crossed knitting needles that says “Knit Fast, Die Warm” on the front and “Sox, Drugs & Rock n’ Roll *Anita Cocktail *” on the back.  I’m such a glutton when I’m upset!

To add insult to injury, Joe was called back to the office so he won’t be here with me this weekend.  I offered to head up to his neck of the woods but that’s on hold til he sees what needs to be done at the office.  Arrgh!

Ok, so the Monkey socks are on the needles and the lovely pattern is starting to emerge…I fully intend to give them the majority of my attention this weekend.  A funny thing happened to the Monkey socks…. I was cleaning the apartment in preparation for the King’s arrival and as I was vacuuming the living room in a flash the Monkeys leapt off my arm chair and right at the Dirt Devil.  It all happened so fast I can’t testify under oath about anything that occurred, but when the dust settled the Monkey sock was still on 4 DPNs but the ball of yarn was missing and there was only a fuzzy stub of a yarn tail hanging off the sock.  I searched under the furniture, frantic to find the yarn.  When it was nowhere to be found I turned the Devil over and found yarn wrapped around the roller.  I started pulling it out wondering if it was possible that the damn vacuum had swallowed an entire ball of yarn.  Once I had extracted the yarn from the roller I began to disassemble the whole vacuum trying to figure out where the ball was lodged.  It was only after the thing started to look like an engineering assignment gone wrong that I glimpsed the ball…. on the other side of the room.  Yes, I’m a moron.  At any rate, one nice spit splice later I’m back in business.

Anyway boys and girls, pray for your old pal Lisa G. that the heat gets fixed and that the crackhead ex girlfriend doesn’t come a callin’.  Have a great weekend, knit plenty and keep pimpin’ the blog to your friends… I’m seeing a lovely little spike in readership thanks to you folks!

Much love and rock on with your bad selves!

Houston, We Have a Problem

A problem - ha! We have a few problems… last week, affectionately named “Cluster Fuck Week” boasted a cracked windshield, a malfunctioning zone valve (a.k.a. heat blasting in my apartment) and a broken cell phone.  The windshield was fixed, the phone replaced and I’m still waiting to cease living in Dante’s Inferno (can you hear the cash register ringing?), but I thought that bad things were supposed to come in threes and I would be safe this week — not so.

The Crack Whore returns to Verona this week — rumors indicate tomorrow — and I am clean out of firearms and disinfectant! I could quite easily hide in my tropical apartment until Monday to avoid it all, BUT my beloved boyfriend will be home.  I had made peace with the fact that we might run into her and was, in fact, thinking that there might be some revenge value in her having to see Joe and I together but then Joe reminded me that it’s Jamie’s birthday this weekend and we’ll be partying like it’s 1999 - which, I need not explain, expotentially increases the odds that we will be in proximity to said Crack Whore and her delightful scent — a combination of B.O. and Chanel.

To top things off, I came into work this morning to find that I had been forwarded an email exchange between Jamie and Bruce that does not bode well.  The boys seem to be having a spat that may or may not resolve itself.  This is going to be a fabulous weekend!

On to happier things! I haven’t had any UFO and FO pics in a while because I usually take them on my phone (explains the lack of quality, eh?) and my phone was maimed.  Fear not, the replacement has arrived and I have both an FO and a UFO for you! The UFO picture is blurry - sorry - you’ll have to use your imagination!

The FO is one sock.  Yes, one.  I first reasoned that I had only made one because the socks are for me which makes me less motivated, but I think I was just not having a good time with it.  I love Fleece Artist but I found myself wishing for a bit more elasticity in the yarn… it was a long haul! Just the same, I really dig the sock and HAVE TO make another one so I can wear ‘em!  Note how lovely this one looks on the sock blocker… it’s an Ann Budd standard sock.

The UFO is, strangely enough, also a sock.  I was cruising Knitty yesterday and got a good look at the Monkey sock pattern… suddenly I knew the destiny of the gorgeous Freesia Claudia Hand Painted I bought from the Loopy Ewe last month.  I whipped it out and started winding - unfortunately finding a break in the yarn not too far into the hank - argh!  I’ll deal with it when I get there I guess.  So, this is the cuff in progress.  Working with this yarn I truly understand what Lime & Violet are talking about when they say that the yarn is lickable.  This looks like rainbow sherbert or something — I cannot wait to have lickable socks!

Speaking of Lime & Violet, I’m completely obsessed.  Thanks are due to the Yarn Harlot for tipping me off.  The long of it (fuck the short - I’m not into the whole brevity thing) is that I currently hate most of the guys in my section of the cube farm at work because they’re too fucking loud talking about hockey and how small their penises are so I needed to find a way to drown them out so I downloaded all the Lime & Violet podcasts.  At first I happily sat doing my work and listening to these fantastic chicks who make me feel like the thoughts I have on a daily basis are perfectly normal…next thing I knew I was listening in the car to and from work…and sitting on the couch knitting…and on my walk…and in bed.  I feel so dirty but I like it.  Ok, maybe I need help.  Maybe - ha!

Introducing Alan Parsons

Ok, this is going to be a big post because I have pictures to share!

Finally, the Alan Parsons Project has been received and here it is… modeled by the lovely Miss Hadley! Yes, it’s a Bella Knits Baby Viking Helmet!  Miss Hadley has been wearing it all over Portland and she looks cute as a button! I have oodles of fabu pics of her in it which I’m sure I’ll post over the next couple days!  I’m so happy everyone is enjoying the hat and I’m working on a bunch more goodies for Miss H!

I’d post a picture of one finished Jester sock but I seem to have mortally wounded my cell phone last night after I sang at the Verona Inn.  Yes, I sang last night…in public… and I do have photographic evidence….

Jake and I sang a couple of songs during Bruce’s Acoustic Jam at the Verona Inn last night.  Here’s the 3 of us before we started:

Don’t we look happy? Nice that my bra also seems to be glowing through my shirt!! 

It was too much fun! I’m so looking forward to the next show in 2 weeks!!  I’m only sorry that nobody took a picture of Jake, Bruce, me and the bar manager Blake singing Satisfaction at the end!

Hadley Says it Best

How I feel today:

I think that about sums it up.

I wish I had great UFO pictures for you but nothing has been moving particularly quickly.  I had to frog part of the Baby Surprise Jacket because I f’ed it up which is pretty hard to do.  That will teach me to knit while fighting with Joe.

I haven’t touched the sock in about a week.  I think its time.  I promise that tomorrow there will be progress…but for now, this is what I felt like saying to several people last night:

 

Pounding Potassium

Ok, so I’ve obviously been a terrible correspondant.  Initially I just took a break during my Labor Day weekend vacay but then became ill immediately thereafter which required me to run around to doctors and, unfortunately, not share my “What I Knitted on My Vacation” photos.  Her Royal Physician claims we are lacking in potassium and iron due to the chick issues we’ve been having for longer than we care to talk about so we have been pounding Vitamin Water, bananas and raw meat for days.  It sucks - as does referring to myself as the Royal We.  I’ll stop that now.  Anyway, I don’t recommend it.  What I do recommend is the Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby I washed it down with.  The highpoint of this weekend, other than B&J’s brief visit, was JoEllen lending me her Harry Potter books and gifting not only Stephanie Pearl McPhee’s “At Knit’s End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much” (the only Yarn Harlot book I didn’t have) AND the latest copy of Interweave Knits magazine.  For a quilter she sure has a good eye for knitting porn!

Ok, so turning back the clock (much like 80s flashback weekend), I will share what I knitted on my vacation.  First, I finished the love socks.  Here they are hanging on my wall on my brandy new sock blockers!:

 

Next, the double decrease in the Jaywalkers finally got the best of me and I pulled the sucker out despite almost having reached the heel flap.  I decided it was time for them to realize their destiny as a basic pair of socks.  The truth of it is that Jester is so very cool all on its own that even a basic sock kicks ass.  Alas, I did not finish the sock but here it is in its current state:

I must mention at this juncture that I have some doubts as to whether this sock will fit me or not.  That considered, I’ve chosen the lovely Cathy Moscatel as my “Sock Second”.  In the event that these guys cannot make it over my evil instep, Cathy will become their new master.  This sock represents another step in the evolution of my sock knitting… just as Love Sock # 2 is more handsome and proportional than its predecessor, Vacay sock appears to have still fewer mutations.  Hey, it rocks for a third sock of all-time.  I’ll try not to get hurt patting myself on the back.

In Alan Parsons Project news, it has been sent! Any day now it should arrive in idyllic Portland, Oregon and I’ll be able to post pictures.  I suspect I’ll be able to post pictures of it being worn by its new owner who is far cuter than my fat little fingers holding the finished object in front of the camera phone.

Ok, one more UFO (unfinished object for you muggles).  I just started this one yesterday so there’s not too much to show but, I present for your viewing pleasure…The Baby Surprise Jacket for Miss Hadley Rose:

The colorway for this piece is very cool - Cherry Tree Hill DK Supersock in Serenghetti. It’s so cool I had to italicize it.  Not your typical baby sweater yarn but I think that’s what I dig about it.  This is just one side of the piece as I was trying for better color in this pic.  I think its even prettier than this in person but it’s not a bad likeness.  I think this is the project I’ll be spending the most time on for the moment because I’m kind of in love with it.